hollyandthesunshine:

| That’s what she said | I think even then I knew that…I was waiting for my wife. | When you’re a kid you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that. | I hope the war goes on forever and Ryan gets drafted. |I’m always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs. | I think I’m basically a good person. But I am going to try to make him cry. | If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I’d ever been here. And I’d forget, too. | I do play games. I sing and I dangle things in front of my cats. | I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. | Tell ya one thing, I’m not gonna be a good mom tonight. | Boy have you lost your mind? ‘Cause I’ll help you find it! | YOU’RE NOT REAL MAN! | I taught Mike some, uh, some phrases to help with his interracial conversation. You know, stuff like, “fleece it out,” “going mach 5,” “dinkin’ flicka.” You know, things us Negroes say. | I think for it to be blackmail, it would have to be a formal letter. | Disposable cameras are fun, but it seems a little wasteful. You never get to see your pictures. | Who am I? I’m Kelly Kapoor, the business bitch. | This may be the first time that a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case, when it inevitably goes to trial. | I walked right into a job for which I was ill-prepared, ill-suited, and somebody else already had. And I got it. If you ask me, that’s the American dream right there. | It just occurred to me that Andy has been calling me ‘Plop’ for so long that he forgot my real name. | I’ve been working here 12 weeks. That’s a full season of Homeland. Ton of things can happen in that amount of time, as we’ve seen. |

the office: 24.3.2005 - 16.5.2013 *

(via notliketheothers)